Caught in the Crossfire
Posted by Intuition Girl
Are you part of the “Sandwich Generation“? This particular age group (ranging between 40 to 60) often finds themselves caring for both an 
aging parent and a child (and sometimes grandchildren, too). It is not that humans are not capable of multitasking and caring for those they love; but all too often, we as adults become caught in the crossfire of what Associate Medical Editor of the Mayo Clinic, Edward T. Creagan, M.D. refers to as the “perfect storm”. If you are one of these individuals, you know exactly to what he is referring. You are struggling with your own emotional, physical, mental and spiritual needs whilst at the same time trying to fill your immediate family’s individual needs as well as caring for your aging parents. It can become quite the task just waking in the morning to take your drive to work while all this chaos is happening in your life. Whew! By day’s end, you are ready to pack a suit case and run away to some deserted island. You are not alone.
Maybe the senior in your life depends entirely upon you, but there are ways to help alleviate some of the stress that being a “sandwich” child brings. Between work, the kids, (and the grandkids), your spouse, your household, and your parent(s), you may feel like you are simply running around in circles with no end in sight. The first step to relieving stress is to eliminate those items on your list that are unnecessary for you to do. For instance, if you are taking on extra projects at work that are not required of you, perhaps you need to pull back the reins on those. Or if you are the only one doing the family shopping, perhaps you can have your adult children pick up grocery items needed in the household.
What are you doing for you? Remember, it is important to care for yourself first. If you are caring for everyone else and not tending to your personal needs, you will find yourself in a world of hurt. When you are a sandwich child, you tend to neglect your physical issues, emotional stresses, and other relationship challenges. If you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world upon your shoulders, then you must make it a point to give yourself some “me-time”. It is not selfish to take time for yourself to get a massage or simply curl up on the sofa with a good book. Meditation or deep-breathing exercises would be helpful as well helping you to center yourself and regain lost balance in your life.
Additionally, there is some positive news. Now may be the time to research senior co-housing. Today, more and more independent seniors are turning to one another to meet each others’ needs. One case that is becoming a strong trend in these United States is that of co-housing like “real-life Golden Girls“, Nancy McPhaul and Nancy Fairbanks out of Saratoga Springs, NY. As aging adults still choose to be independent, many are like Ms. McPhaul and Ms. Fairbanks, who have elected to share expenses and enjoying each other’s company in the same home. It saves money and enables each to help one another without the physical assistance of their adult children or grandchildren. This would be an admirable and cost-effective opportunity to help mom or dad still maintain independence without making them feel unwanted or uncared for. I know it is a challenging situation, but if you involve your parent in the decision-making of these options, it will help alleviate both yours and his (or her) stresses and fears.
There are also senior home service centers that will pitch in to assist when you cannot. They offer transportation, medicine reminders, assisted living services, and so much more. The nice aspect of these service providers is that you can acquire their help as often or as little as necessary. Remember, you are not abandoning your parents, you are helping them.
In the end, you need to create time for yourself so that you can begin living a joy-filled life and still love and care for those around you without running yourself down in the act of doing so.
Joan Marie – your Intuition Girl
© Caught in the Crossfire – 2013
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl
5 Human Misconceptions that Weaken your Humanity
Posted by Intuition Girl
In life, people will sometimes shock or surprise you with their actions or inactions. Take a pair of twins for example: 
both can have identical looks, even identical talents, and in a lot of cases, identical intelligence. Regardless of their conception, despite their exacting appearances, each twin has his or her own soul and his or her own perceptions of life in general. Human beings are quite complex to say the least; but all that aside, there are certain perceptions (rather, misconceptions) that weaken your humanity. See these top misconceptions people commonly have:
1. Race. Race is not necessarily always the issue, but people of varying shades are often misperceived to be something they are or are not. When you automatically believe that one race is one way based on past experiences, teachings or environment then you are not allowing an open mind to see beyond the skin-deep veil. All humans are of the same origin. When our Creator crafted this beautiful human species, the potential for humanity was far greater than the colors of our skin. Perceiving that someone is less than you, or perhaps even greater than you based on skin tone is a perception that only weakens you. Go past the outer layers by practicing patience, understanding, compassion and respect to find the insight and beauty that lies within.
2. Culture. This hodgepodge we call Earth is a great melting pot of diversity. We all come from various backgrounds and cultures. While some of our great grandparents may have come to the Americas during the colonial days, others may have deep Native American roots; still others may be a mixed genealogical makeup of Asian, European, African, and North and South American. Across the continental divides are numerous cultures and belief systems that to some are quite normal, to others strange and exotic. I tend to embrace culture and take everything with a grain of salt. The greatest thing one can do is learn and apply forbearance in everyday living.
3. Sex. The connotations regarding males and females are often way off base. Some may say males are the stronger sex, and females the smarter one. Truth of the matter is that all human beings, regardless of sex, have each their own unique talents and strengths to bring to the table. There are no set rules defining which sex is greater, stronger, smarter or more likeable. In fact, we each complement one another with our own attributes – which often make life much easier. Become more nonjudgmental when approaching the opposite sex. When you do, you open yourself up to more positive interaction and productivity.
4. Religion. Religion becomes a hot mess because each individual is passionate about his or her own belief system. What may be a way of normal life to some, may be shocking and intolerable to others. Here is the good news: you can practice your own belief system without intruding on other beliefs by learning to agree to disagree. No religion is perfect just like no human being is perfect. Truth is many of us need some connectivity to a Higher Power to help us in our daily lives and to offer us the motivation and inspiration to carry on day in and day out. Practice to live within your own scope of religious beliefs with the attitude of “live and let live”. When you do, the world will become a much more peaceful place.
5. Age. Whether some believe it or not, we will all age over time. The hard part is learning how to respect one another enough to reach a common ground. Younger people often see the elderly as “out of touch” or “too old fashioned”; whereas the older generation may see youth as “too bold” and “too immature”. What many fail to see is the potential that each group can share with one another. Imagine the possibilities that exist when we take the time to share knowledge, technology, history and values. There are so many ways to inspire, motivate and challenge each other with our own sets of ideas, visions and skills. Start today by practicing sharing and caring – amazing what great minds can do together.
In the end, we all leave similar footprints in the sand. There is no color, no age, no culture, no defining characters except a set of prints walking along the shore. Eventually, the tides will creep up and wash away the traces. The message is we are all here for only a little while. Let’s leave imprints of our compassion and love in others so our footprints, though washed away, will remain in the hearts of those we have touched.
Joan Marie – your Intuition Girl
© 5 Human Misconceptions that Weaken your Humanity
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl
About the Author: Joan Marie is the extraordinary lifestyle strategist for everyday living. She travels throughout the United States sharing her gifts and her Lifestyle Makeover Programs with solo-preneurs, professionals, small business owners as well as large companies. Her Manifestation Method Program and Lifestyle Makeover Programs are designed to help people change their lives. For more information about Joan Marie and her upcoming, exclusive events, please go to: www.joanmariethegift.com
5 Must-Have Attitudes in Relationships
Posted by Intuition Girl
In life, you will occasionally find that no matter where you are, with whom you are, or in whatever circumstance you may be, you may feel empty and dissatisfied with your current state of affairs. Perhaps you feel your job is no longer 
challenging or rewarding; or if you are in a long-standing relationship, you suddenly realize you have grown tired and bored with whom you have invested years of your life. Some of the most common mistakes some of you make is believing that others are there to “serve your purpose“. In relationships, it falls to each one of us to continually choose nonjudgmental perceptions and constructive interactions. Each and every day, you must focus on stronger and more sustainable relationships by carefully constructing building blocks of love and respect. Here are five must-have attitudes in relationships, which promise a sustainable and promising lifestyle:
1. Thinking of “50 Ways to Leave your Lover“? Maybe Paul Simon made a hit with that song, but perhaps it is time to start thinking of at least 25 ways to improve your relationship. Seriously. Get out a sheet of notebook paper and write down 50 ways to improve your relationship. Think of small ways you can contribute to bettering your circumstances and enriching each others’ lives. Remember, in love, it is a two-way street. It is not about how much your loved one can “serve your purpose“; rather, it is about how much each one of you can serve your own purposes to strengthen your bonds of love.
2. Seek and employ. Whether you are in a personal or professional relationship, you must have a “can-do” attitude. If your primary mission is to “search and destroy” aspects of a relationship – meaning you are more into “fault-finding” opposed to “positivism-finding”, then you are sabotaging your own relationship with something or someone. Instead, make a point to find five (5) positive elements or characteristics you admire about your career or your significant other. When you recalibrate your thinking in a more upbeat and hopeful thought process, you find that day-to-day living becomes more tolerable and joy-filled.
3. Stop assuming. It is vital in all relationships to toss out any preconceived ideas about a person or a situation. It is easy to fall into the “assumption trap” because you may have had a previous bad experience. Let it go. Do not offer feedback until you are absolutely clear of what an individual is telling you or doing. Just because something does not always seem clear to you, it does not mean the intention toward you is negative. Get the facts straight before you assume someone is out to get you. I have discovered that when I take the time to see the situation or experience from their point of view, I am better prepared to responds with wisdom and insight.
4. Compromise. Yes, in any and all relationships, it is imperative that you are willing to compromise. Throughout history, leaders – both great and small – have had to be the grownup in the room to find the middle ground. Compromising does not mean you have to sell your soul. What it does mean is that you are willing to cooperate on straightforward solutions to both complex and even simple issues. It may even mean “agreeing to disagree” and leaving it at that but I suggest without anger or malice.
5. Stop beating a dead horse. Have you ever been on the receiving end of one of these lashings? I am sure if you have, it has certainly made you feel frustrated or uncomfortable. So do not do it to someone else. If you have forgiven someone for past words or deeds, then you must also forgive yourself so you can release any anger or hurt feelings over that specific situation. If you have moved beyond a certain point in your life, why would you continue to rehash it? When you free yourself from past hurts, you find those associated feelings no longer have a stranglehold over your life. If you feel you cannot do it alone, let go and let God take the burden off your shoulders. Together, you will stop beating a dead horse and find the courage to move forward as an empowered being.
Shhh… your Intuition is Talking to You
Posted by Intuition Girl
Have you ever been in a crowded or loud place and you just want to tune it all out? Or maybe the sheer stress in life has just overwhelmed you so much that you feel like your head is going to explode? Now is not the time to collapse into fear and anxiety mode — now is the time to turn down the volume… reduce the noise pollution in your mind so that you can begin to think clearly and more fluidly.
Many times we receive helpful hints, little voices, or thoughts and creative ideas from the Universe but we are so caught up in our own little worlds that we do not hear or see the messages that are so desperately trying to reach us.
We are each born with the gift of intuitive abilities that when fine-tuned, will enable us to receive the abundance that the Universe wants us to manifest – the abundance of wealth, health, happiness, success, relationships, careers, and whatever it is our hearts desire.
When you take the time to quiet your ego mind and begin to fine-tune your awareness, you alert your soul to the Universal clues that are being presented to you. You do that through simple meditation or just by sitting and listening to the sounds of silence. It is often through the whisper of peace and the calming and soothing effects of stillness that you are able to find the answer that you seek within.
Remember, there are no knee-jerk reactions in meditation, only soft, gentle vibrations that guide you in the direction that you need to go. The Universe knows the resolution and the path that you must take to achieve the life that you are destined to live. When you let it all go and begin listening to what it is trying to tell you, you may just find yourself in the place that you need to be in the time that you need to be there.
Joan Marie, your Intuition Girl
© Copyright – All Rights Reserved
Shhh… your Intuition is Talking to You
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl
What chip are you wearing?
Posted by Intuition Girl
You are probably aware of the expression, “walking around with a chip on your shoulder”. There are some people who wear that chip like a badge of honor. For them, it is easy to hold onto all the pain and anger they have experienced in their lives. That proverbial “chip” is a constant reminder that helps people cope with their frustration and permits them to run away from any potential emotional attachments. In a sense, it has become their bargaining tool with which they can reason. In some cases, an individual may just stop communicating with others altogether out of fear of getting “burned” again. It is easier (for them) to clam up and walk away from a connection than having to put forth the extra effort.
Do you know Angry Joe? Then there are those who have a loud, pronounced chip on their shoulders. They are the ones who are mad at the world, infuriated because they are working in a job they really do not like doing. Or perhaps they are just angry because they have not achieved the goals they wanted to achieve in life. You can easily spot “Angry Joe” because he is the guy with a glowing chip on his shoulder. He wants to pick arguments because he thinks he knows everything and wants it his way or the highway. No one wants to be around him because he can recoil like a snake and lash out for no apparent reason. He always has a terrible attitude about work, his coworkers and life in general. He may even appear somewhat paranoid, fearful of what others might be saying about him. In truth, he is angry at himself; angry that he has not acquired the degree of stature that he feels he deserves. Do you know Joe?
Have you seen Debbie Despair? Some are painfully angry because they may not have had the best childhood or perhaps they had a regrettable life experience. While most human beings experience pain, anger and grief in life, not all are able to cope with these experiences and have been unable to successfully rebound. You may have met “Debbie Despair” once or twice in your life. She holds onto grief as if she is in constant mourning. No matter how much she does accomplish in life, it is never good enough in her eyes. She is always apologetic; even accepting blame for others’ mistakes. She can be quite accommodating when it comes to helping others but she transforms everyone else’s hardships into her own. If someone mentions the loss of a loved one, Debbie is right there to harp about every single person or thing she has lost in her own life. Like Angry Joe, not a lot of people want to be around Debbie because she is a talking, walking gloom and doom cloud. Have you seen Debbie Despair?
How about Eddie Overachiever? There are some folks who carry a subtle chip on their shoulders like Eddie. Eddie Overachiever is the individual who works like an ox. In many cases, he is masking his own painful emotions by putting work before family and friends. He knows that as long as he is focused on the meticulous details of his career that he does not have to own up to his own personal, private matters. While he may receive numerous awards and recognition for his outstanding performance from work management, those who work with him suffer because nothing they do can or will be ever as good as Eddie’s work. And to make matters worse, Eddie likes making others feel less competent than himself. But it does not stop behind the office doors. When he does manage to make it home, he can only discuss work matters and does not take the time to be a friend or a family man. His spouse feels neglected, his kids feel like a third wheel and his coworkers feel berated. Is there an Eddie Overachiever in your life?
Do you know Dianna Drama? If you have not yet encountered Dianna Drama, you will recognize her by her constant need to create little fires everywhere she goes. The chip on her shoulder is so large that it becomes superior to her. Oftentimes, individuals who embellish themselves on “enquiring news” are those who feel the extreme need to sensationalize every shred of information they receive. In doing so, it gives them a perception of higher importance and perceived acceptance. Truthfully, these individuals are often victims of life disappointments and because of this discontent, want to create an alternative reality where they become the pivotal point of the story. In order to satisfy their egos and to feel emotionally gratified, they exaggerate situations to impress those around them. Those around these individuals ultimately learn the truth, and people like Dianna Drama wind up losing the respect they so desire. Do you know Dianna Drama?
In all of the aforementioned cases, there is an obvious emotional trigger that has sparked each psychosomatic makeup. Do you share any of these traits? How you feel about yourself or the life events that have lead to your identity today is something that you must first accept in order to go forward in life. The next step is to forgive yourself and free yourself from the pain that you have been harboring. It is just as important to understand that the behavior that you are exhibiting may be negatively impacting yourself and those around you. Among more traditional counseling programs, there are a number of alternative emotional wellness tools that can help you overcome your past and move forward into the present and the future. If you are unsure of what path you would like to pursue, please connect with me so I can help you learn how to forgive yourself and to find happiness in all aspects of your life.
