How do couples cope with the loss of a family member?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dear Ms. Whelan:
I listen to you every Monday morning on Waking Up with Whoopi and I am amazed by your gift and your insights. The reason I am writing to you is that the last few months have been very hard on me and my husband. My father-in-law passed away from terminal stomach cancer and when my husband returned to work after bereavement he was fired. That was 3 months ago and I am wondering what is in store for us. We have been under an extreme about of stress which has been difficult on our relationship.
I guess I would like to know what will happen to him job wise and if things will improve with our relationship. Thank you for all of the help that you give people.
Sincerely,
Karen
Joan Marie’s Answer
Dear Karen:
First I want to say that I do not believe that because your father-in-law passed that you and your husbands world has to come crashing down. I always say having open honest communication with your partner is very important and vital. Both of you need to sit down together and get clear on what you both wish to experience and see if you can establish a greater bond between the two of you. We all have trials and tribulations in life and they are not meant to cause a separation. This is time to re-evaluate your commitment to each other, to yourself and to the life you intended to create.
I believe your husband can get proper employment and your relationship can be great but you both need to be on the same page with what it is you want. I feel like your husband wants to use this time as an excuse for his life’s downward spiral when he does not have to.
You must realize that you need to create a solid foundation between the two of you. I realize you both have a great deal going on. Now is the time to go out for the day, forget about everything and do something fun. This experience does not even have to cost you anything. This will also help the both of you to relax and begin to create some positive change in your life.
Many Blessings,
How do I balance my crazy social life?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Hi Joan Marie,
I hope you can help me. I am in a crazy time of my life I like my job but it is boring to me and I think I see myself doing something else, I am just unsure as to what it might be. I was hoping you could give me a little insight as to what I might want to do?
I am trying to improve my social life because I do not have one. I have family but I am not really close to anyone who I can call whenever I need to talk so I have a lot of bottled up emotions and I don’t have any friends to keep me busy. I am hoping to find at least one friend to be able to call and to hang out with. What do you see for my social life?
I also have lets say a friend, lets say he fills my loneliness void, he turns on and off like a light switch one minute he makes me feel good like I have someone and the next he pushes me away. Sometimes I feel like I am the yoyo. and I think it is taking a toll on me emotionally. I get upset and start to cry thinking here we go again–I am alone again with no one. I think if I know that the void will be filled with either activities, friends or a new man that I would not get so emotional and I would take steps to get there instead of getting upset and shutting down.
Hope you can help,
Dawn D
Dear Dawn:
You are where so many have been. How many reading this right now are saying, “I know how she feels. First and foremost you must be in truth with how you are feeling.
I suggest that you let go of this relationship for now. This person is not serving you, only helping you stay where you are and you are allowing yourself to stay in an unhealthy emotional state by being in this relationship. Please know I am making a suggestion and you must be responsible for your final decision.
What I say to you as I have said to so many is: Are you done? Are you finished with being in this place? Being a part of circumstances that you truly do not want? It is as if you are addicted to the “I don’t want club” so that is all you are getting.
I think what people need to understand is that there is no pill that can solve this problem. The only solution is “YOU”.
Therefore, what you need to do is look at this time that you have alone not as a negative but as a gift so you can grow to better understand you, that is all of you. Begin to nurture you and start listening to the truth of what it is you really want to have come into your life.
You appear ready for change so several steps you can do on a consistent basis is to focus on what brings you joy. I do not want to hear:”I do not know.” What is one thing that brings you joy? it maybe remembering a special time or an activity that you love to do. If you begin to focus on what brings you joy, and spend at least five minutes a day focusing on joy, your body will actually begin to crave and focus on what brings you joy.
As a result, you will automatically bring in more joy. Another suggestion to help you get better acquainted with yourself is to find a hobby or take a class. In other words, begin to discover a joy-filled experiences, an outlet that will help you feel contentment and begin creating some joy-filled activity into your life on a consistent basis. You mentioned you have a lot of emotions bottled up inside. Write them out in your journal. It is time for you to understand why you have needed them. Write out in detail what you do want in your life on a daily basis, give great detail to what it is you think you want.
Then write out how this feels. You need to gain control over your life and your circumstances one step at a time and it begins with you not through a friend or lover. I hope that helps?
Many Blessings to you,
How do I know when to call it quits?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dear Joan,
It has been a couple years since I started my business, I borrowed what would have been my inheritance from my father. I’ve worked relentlessly every day for the past 2 years, I can’t remember the last vacation or even day off.
I’ve always wanted my father to be proud of me so I know I did this business for myself as well as for him. I do enjoy every day but it has been quite a struggle.
I thought by now I would perhaps be returning the favor to my father ten fold, but that is not the case, I am in the real estate business and my business is going down the tubes due to the market decline.
My question to you is, how do I know when to call it quits, I’m not a quitter but I don’t want to drag my father down any further. He’s been so supportive and I’ve borrowed more then my rightful share.
Should I close the business and get a job? Should I attempt to get a small business loan and give it more time? I appreciate any insight you may have.
Blessings & Namaste,D
Joan Marie’s Answer
My feeling is you had this idea and inspiration for a reason. I feel like the business that you are in is a great opportunity; however, your foundation is weak and you have many loopholes that are preventing you from creating the flow of productivity. I do not feel like the answer is to keep spending money to make something work. I feel; however, that you need to gain a better insight and knowledge and even possibly find a mentor to give you support and guidance. All real estate businesses are not collapsing. There are always opportunities to be had in difficult times. It would be valuable for you to find out what you need to do right in order to make your business prosper.
The root of all situations in life is our emotions. The Universe is a feeling Universe and you need to see how you are feeling every single day in order to create. Possibilities do exist everywhere but your eyes are not on them.
Make this about you, not your father. Do not feel bad he has given you money; he did so because he wanted to. The problem is in your emotions. Again, I suggest that you work on your foundation, your core so that you are better equipped to create the change and momentum that you are craving. There are plenty of people thriving in this economy today, why aren’t you? In my lifestyle makeover programs, I have helped numerous people not only create their blueprint to bring in money but also to discover their purpose.
The answer is not necessarily to go into more debt, the answer is can you create a solution in the next 30 to 60 days and what is it? Work on a blueprint for yourself. Learn from this and grow, you have many great lessons and the fact that you have held on for so long means you are a winner and a success. Prepare to be open for change and all the possibilities that await you.
Many Blessings,
What is your take on astrology?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dear Joan Marie,
I was wondering what your take was on astrology? Recently, I had a complete astrology report done on my sons father and it told me he was going to drop down on the side walk and die. I know they are not supposed to reveal this kind of information but all the reports I have had done were so true (mainly as far as personality goes) and it has ruled my ability to move forward in life.
I am sick with worry as I had lost my husband in the same way . My Husband’s death was in my birth report ! I believe more in the validity of what you do than that of astrology.
Thank you for your time. Your response is greatly appreciated!
Sincerely
Jennifer
Joan Marie’s Answer
This is a fascinating question. I literally just said to a client the other day to please be cautious when you are receiving information from another. I suggest you examine the information and try it on like it is a pair of hand me down pants. If they feel right and fit keep them, if they do not throw them away.
The information you received for your son’s father can become a reality because now the thought and statement has been sent out into the ethers. It has become a spoken word. I believe that if someone is going to tell you this kind of information, it would also be wise that they share with you details of how to prevent this from happening. Remember we all have free will and we actually have the power and ability to change our fate. Therefore, it is possible that this prediction can be reversed.
The truth is, if you are comfortable speaking to this man and sharing with him what was told to you, he might be interested in taking right action. This information just might be the catalyst that will enable him to empower himself to change his ways and make life altering decisions. As individuals we have the power every second of every day to do something different. If you are going to pray for anything at this time pray for the strength and courage for yourself, your son and this man. Change is inevitable so pray that you can all grow from the changes that are occurring to you.
When we become a leader in life over our emotions we are the winners. We are all going to die and we all will burry many loved ones— this is a fact. What you decide to do with your time while you are here and the relationships you wish to create is up to you. If you are going to stress and worry instead of playing, living, talking, sharing and doing—you just might lose out on the opportunities that await you. Remember the choice is yours!
I see a great deal of energy entanglement with your husband, you and your sons father…. break the cord of the past and create a new story.
Many Blessings to you,
