Being claustrophobic
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dear Joan Marie Whelan,
My name is Debbie, and I’m 43 years old, and I have question for you re: being claustrophobic.
For a bit of background, when I was somewhere between maybe 7-8 (?) I was over at a friend’s house playing upstairs. We got bored, and so my friend,whose name is also Debbie, suggested we play a particular game she made up.
There was a hope chest upstairs, and her idea was that each of us would go inside the hope chest while the other sat on it, but when the one inside knocked on the chest, she would be let out. She said that she would go first. She got in, stayed there a second or two, knocked on the chest, and I opened it immediately. That looked easy enough, so I got inside. The only problem is that she didn’t let me out when I knocked. She locked the chest and went downstairs! I have no idea how long I was in there, my only guess is that it was just a few to five minutes at the most, but who knows.
I have visual memory of before we started the “game” up until I get inside the chest; I don’t remember ever getting out, though obviously, I did. I don’t know if she let me out or her mom, or how I felt once she did let me out – I know nothing!
So fast forward to the present. I am having to wean off a certain medication (anti-depressant of 17 years) because it was causing blood pressure issues. Well, one of the things I experience when weaning off meds is that my anxiety goes through the roof. Everything becomes centered around claustrophobia. I feel it throughout my entire body, not just emotionally or mentally – I feel terrified that if I walk down the street and fall down or become unconscious, I will wake up in the hospital, unable to move because of some contraption I have to be in for medical reasons.
In my book, one does not experience claustrophobia if they have the power to let themselves in or out of whatever the confined place may be. I had to have traction for my hip years ago, and the moment I realized I was totally dependent on someone else to get me out of that set up, I FREAKED and had to get out of there. However, weeks later, one of the nurses showed me how I could let myself out if I got scared. Well, that’s all it took. I was no longer afraid because I had the power to let myself out if I needed it; I didn’t have to rely on or trust anyone else.
So anyway, I am freaking out about everything and anything related and not related to claustrophobia, and I’m tired of it. I NEED help overcoming this debilitating fear! I don’t normally feel these feelings intensely like this; I do realize that it’s primarily because I’m not on a therapeutic dose of meds, but even still, if those fears weren’t in there, they couldn’t come out – realistic or not!
Do you think there is hope for me to overcome this HUGE fear? I don’t want to just be able to meditate to calm down in the present, but I want something that is going to truly bring healing so that whether I think about a scenario or are actually in one, I won’t freak out anymore.
Do you have any kind of help to offer? I’m desperate!
Thank you
Debbie
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