Straight Talk with Joan Marie: Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 1
Dear Joan Marie:
My husband is ALWAYS mad at me. It seems that I am the blame for everything wrong in his life and in our relationship. If I submit, it’s never enough and if I don’t, I never doing anything for him (talk about a catch 22). 
According to him, I run around for everyone else and do nothing for him. We’ve been together for 13 years and married going on 6. Our relationship has always been rocky and we’ve gone to marriage counseling and I even went to individual counseling to work on my personal baggage but it seems as if even when things change they stay the same.
I am NOT perfect by far, but I have done a lot of compromising to accommodate his complaints, but even that goes unnoticed. Every time I change something about myself he has a new complaint about me.
There are things that I believe in and since he doesn’t he calls them bull. For example, I used to light candles and pray for people, he called it black magic, so I stopped. I still pray for people but now I don’t use candles.
The whole situation is getting to the point of “why bother”. I’ve changed, compromised, communicated and it’s as if I’m beating a dead horse. Sometimes I feel like what he really needs in a wife/partner is a robot (someone who can be programmed to accommodate his needs only and have none of their own).
Thanks for the shoulder!
EH
ANSWER:
Dear EH:
Recently, when I was on the radio in NYC I spoke with a woman who was very dissatisfied in her marriage. My suggestion was to write down a list of things she wanted her husband to say to her on a consistent basis and then share that list with him. Likewise, he was to do the same thing. The purpose of this exercise is to communicate your feelings, wants and needs with each other in a healthy manner.
Communication is the key ingredient here. From your comments, it sounds like you and your husband are not even on the same page! My wish is for you to sit down with him and share what it is you wish to experience in your marriage and what it is you are looking for.
He just might not be capable of giving you what you need. From what you said, it appears that he is a very unhappy person and quite possibly his anger and unpleasantness has nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, you are the one who is most visible to him so you get the brunt of his pain. It is not your job to change him. That is something he must do for himself.
You can only continue to work on you so that you will heal and grow. If he is not willing to look at his own “baggage” and his own need to heal and grow there is nothing you can do about it or your relationship. There is going to come a time when you will need to decide if you can continue to life with these issues because if he is not willing to work with you and the benefit of your relationship, you will need to look at why are you allowing yourself to be in a unhealthy situation.
Take your power back and make decisions that will benefit you. It is time you put you first. Balance and harmony is what we all seek.
Many Blessings,
Joan Marie the gift
Straight Talk with Joan Marie: Financial Healing
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 2
Hi Joan Marie,
I would just love for someone to intuit what my blockage is with money. However, because of it, I have no resources (including no credit). Sometime ago, I wrote about how scared I was because of my money situation.
I hope you are open to helping me out, I would be forever grateful.
Thank you,
Denise
ANSWER # 2
Dear Denise:
Please know that your money situation is not just related to “Money or Currency.” It goes far deeper than that! You need to look at all areas in your life and question what is flowing and working for you and what is not because it seems to me that you have blockage in other areas as well which you have been ignoring.
It might be helpful for you to look carefully at your relationships and those with whom you spend time. How do people around you make you feel and do they also experience lack in their lives?
How do you feel about you? Is your life consistently moving in a specific direction and flow or are you going against the grain?
The most important question you need to be asking yourself is: “Do I value myself?” And if so, what does this mean and look like to you? I also encourage you to examine your relationship with money not only today but in the past? Has it always been a struggle for you and where is the root of the problem stemming from?
The only way for you to heal your money issues is to study all areas in your life that are not in harmony? I encourage you to believe and also to feel with all your heart as though money belongs to you and at the same time, it is important for you to be open to receiving money into your life.
It is a Universal Law –“What you continually think about is what you will create”; therefore, you cannot put energy out into the world that you are desperate and you are always in need of money because that is what you are creating.
It is time for you to stop running! I encourage you to sit down and create a plan of action that will work for you and that you believe is possible if you desire to create consistent flow in your life. Release what is not working so you can make room to bring in what can work for you today. By the way, this does not take money! It takes discipline and persistence.
Many Blessings,
Joan Marie the gift
Upcoming Programs with Joan Marie
Posted by Intuition Girl
5-Week Program on the Power of Forgiveness
Starts June 1, 2010
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Remove Your Emotional Clutter
To learn more about the De-Clutter your life 5-Week Program Click Here
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Don’t forget about the Medium Evening on May 12 in Montrose, California
5 Tips on the Art of Forgiveness
Posted by Intuition Girl
Are you stuck in a rut and cannot seem to find the end of the tunnel? Did you ever think that you might possibly be preventing yourself from moving forward by holding onto past hurts and other emotional baggage? In my practice, I have met so many clients who truly want to change the course of their direction but simply have no clue on how to proceed. I have found that the initial step to creating wealth and prosperity in life is to first learn the art of forgiveness. Don’t laugh. I mean it. We all hold onto resentful feelings and guilt. We let these emotions take over our daily living and even our entire lifetimes. It’s not easy carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders when you’re trying to climb a mountain.
Let’s discuss five tips that can help you learn the art of forgiveness so you too, can begin to enjoy the fruits of your labor without the added stress of that heavy load you’ve been shouldering. From here on out, I want you to remember the acronym: SILLY
- Strategize.
With any successful encounter, we have to plan a strategy that works best to benefit our individual lifestyles. What do you really want out of life? If you are trying to climb the corporate ladder or just want to find peace with a significant other, then you must gear yourself up to meet the task at hand. That means you need to come to terms with your emotions and draw out a plan of action to put those monsters to rest. First, write out all the feelings you’ve been harboring: guilt, anger, frustration, malaise, intimidation, inferiority, low self-esteem, hatred, sorrow… you name it, write it down. Now, look at that list. One by one, I want you to try and recreate each feeling associated with the word you have written. Can’t do it, can you? Good. Next, cross off each word on your list. Breathe in. Smile. That’s the first step. - Implement. Since you’ve crossed off your list of negative emotions, you’ve already made a major step toward realizing your potentiality through forgiveness. Let’s take that and run with it… say aloud to your self: “I forgive myself for ___________ (fill in the blank). My emotions no longer have control over me. I am in control of my life. No words or feelings can stop me from moving forward from this moment onward.”
- Learn. We’ve all had past encounters that weren’t always the best experiences. The good news is that when we allow forgiveness in our lives, we are forgiving ourselves and releasing all the negative energies that have infiltrated our daily routines and relationships. Know from your experiences that learning forgiveness is fundamental in creating happiness in life. Whether it’s an old supervisor who seemingly drove you to the brink of insanity, or a past love that may have broken your heart… only you have the power over your emotions. Your boss didn’t make you insane. Your significant other did not break your heart. In all actuality, it was your emotions getting the better of you. So let’s learn from those experiences and know that only you can determine your feelings and the outcome of those feelings.
- Love.
Ah, love is such a simple four-letter word but it holds such deep and profound meaning in itself. When you forgive yourself, you are honoring yourself and replenishing the love within you. Just as a beautiful rose bud opens to full blossom, you too will open to your full potential when you learn to love and forgive yourself so that you can become the beautiful rose among the thorns that life may toss your way. - You. You are a magnificent living thing. When you focus on yourself and learn that you have so many powerful and wonderful things going for you, you begin to understand the nature of life and how to better cope with negative events and encounters. When you breathe, are you intentionally working to breathe or is your inherent life force doing that for you?
Your life force is the central, most significant aspect of your daily life. It keeps your heart pumping, your lungs breathing, your eyes seeing, your nose smelling, your ears hearing… and somewhere in the mix of all these actions is your intuitive consciousness that allows you to see beyond the realm of your physical constitution. Your intuitive consciousness is also a constant. It never waivers. It never falters. But it is there for you and with you. It is that essence of “You” within that when released from the burdens of negativity becomes the abundant source of your very beingness. And it all begins with the art of forgiveness.
Isn’t it time to become SILLY, bask in your uniqueness and just let forgiveness back into your heart so you can be the best you can be? Let me help you take your life journey to the next level by joining me on my upcoming Program on Forgiveness…you have nothing to lose and opportunities to gain!
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5 Tips on the Art of Forgiveness
By Joan Marie the Gift, Intuition Girl
About the Author: Joan Marie is the extraordinary lifestyle expert for everyday living. She travels throughout the United States sharing her gifts and her Lifestyle Makeover Programs with solo-preneurs, professionals, small business owners, and large companies. Her Manifestation Method Program and Lifestyle Makeover Programs are designed to help people change their lives. For more information about Joan Marie and her upcoming, exclusive events, please go to:www.joanmariethegift.com
Learn more about Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan – Intuitive Counseling and Intuition Coaching Specialist
How do I deal with rude people?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 1
Hi Joan Marie:
Thank you for your newsletters…I really enjoy them and always find them helpful. I was wondering if you could offer any advice for dealing with a problem that I’ve confronted many times in my life. I’m generally a very gentle and kind person, but when I run across rude people I often feel the need to confront them, whether their rudeness is directed toward me, a friend of mine, or even a stranger. It’s not that I want to fight or argue with anyone, but I guess I feel that if I call them on their behavior that maybe I will be able to say something that will resonate with them and make them see how wrong they are. I know it’s not my job to try to change people’s behavior, though (and of course, calling out rude people on their behavior usually just makes them even more angry).
What’s the best, most positive way to deal with those sorts of situations? Confronting people has not usually proven to be constructive, so how can I learn to save my sanity and not take other people’s bad behavior to heart?
Blessings to you, Mary Scott
ANSWER
Dear Mary:
In life it is important for us to remember that we are all mirrors of each other. Therefore, if someone is being rude the best thing you can do is to take a step back and see where in you does this resonates. I am sure you are surprised by my answer and maybe even shocked but the truth is if someone is bothering you it is because you have unfinished business within yourself that needs to be dealt with. The Universe has a clever way of getting our attention.
In life it is healthy for all of us to become observer’s of others and not necessarily participants in someone else’s movie. One thing I can offer is for you to have loving, compassionate conversations with those you feel are rude and talk with them about it, that is, talk about their tone and what they are saying and how it affects you. After all that is who you are really talking about. Once you heal that aspect within yourself, rude individuals will not affect you.
Many Blessings,
Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan – Intuitive Counseling and Intuitive Coaching Specialist
