Straight Talk with Joan Marie: Conflict Resolution in Relationships
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 1
Dear Joan Marie:
My husband is ALWAYS mad at me. It seems that I am the blame for everything wrong in his life and in our relationship. If I submit, it’s never enough and if I don’t, I never doing anything for him (talk about a catch 22). 
According to him, I run around for everyone else and do nothing for him. We’ve been together for 13 years and married going on 6. Our relationship has always been rocky and we’ve gone to marriage counseling and I even went to individual counseling to work on my personal baggage but it seems as if even when things change they stay the same.
I am NOT perfect by far, but I have done a lot of compromising to accommodate his complaints, but even that goes unnoticed. Every time I change something about myself he has a new complaint about me.
There are things that I believe in and since he doesn’t he calls them bull. For example, I used to light candles and pray for people, he called it black magic, so I stopped. I still pray for people but now I don’t use candles.
The whole situation is getting to the point of “why bother”. I’ve changed, compromised, communicated and it’s as if I’m beating a dead horse. Sometimes I feel like what he really needs in a wife/partner is a robot (someone who can be programmed to accommodate his needs only and have none of their own).
Thanks for the shoulder!
EH
ANSWER:
Dear EH:
Recently, when I was on the radio in NYC I spoke with a woman who was very dissatisfied in her marriage. My suggestion was to write down a list of things she wanted her husband to say to her on a consistent basis and then share that list with him. Likewise, he was to do the same thing. The purpose of this exercise is to communicate your feelings, wants and needs with each other in a healthy manner.
Communication is the key ingredient here. From your comments, it sounds like you and your husband are not even on the same page! My wish is for you to sit down with him and share what it is you wish to experience in your marriage and what it is you are looking for.
He just might not be capable of giving you what you need. From what you said, it appears that he is a very unhappy person and quite possibly his anger and unpleasantness has nothing to do with you. Unfortunately, you are the one who is most visible to him so you get the brunt of his pain. It is not your job to change him. That is something he must do for himself.
You can only continue to work on you so that you will heal and grow. If he is not willing to look at his own “baggage” and his own need to heal and grow there is nothing you can do about it or your relationship. There is going to come a time when you will need to decide if you can continue to life with these issues because if he is not willing to work with you and the benefit of your relationship, you will need to look at why are you allowing yourself to be in a unhealthy situation.
Take your power back and make decisions that will benefit you. It is time you put you first. Balance and harmony is what we all seek.
Many Blessings,
Joan Marie the gift
Straight Talk with Joan Marie: Financial Healing
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 2
Hi Joan Marie,
I would just love for someone to intuit what my blockage is with money. However, because of it, I have no resources (including no credit). Sometime ago, I wrote about how scared I was because of my money situation.
I hope you are open to helping me out, I would be forever grateful.
Thank you,
Denise
ANSWER # 2
Dear Denise:
Please know that your money situation is not just related to “Money or Currency.” It goes far deeper than that! You need to look at all areas in your life and question what is flowing and working for you and what is not because it seems to me that you have blockage in other areas as well which you have been ignoring.
It might be helpful for you to look carefully at your relationships and those with whom you spend time. How do people around you make you feel and do they also experience lack in their lives?
How do you feel about you? Is your life consistently moving in a specific direction and flow or are you going against the grain?
The most important question you need to be asking yourself is: “Do I value myself?” And if so, what does this mean and look like to you? I also encourage you to examine your relationship with money not only today but in the past? Has it always been a struggle for you and where is the root of the problem stemming from?
The only way for you to heal your money issues is to study all areas in your life that are not in harmony? I encourage you to believe and also to feel with all your heart as though money belongs to you and at the same time, it is important for you to be open to receiving money into your life.
It is a Universal Law –“What you continually think about is what you will create”; therefore, you cannot put energy out into the world that you are desperate and you are always in need of money because that is what you are creating.
It is time for you to stop running! I encourage you to sit down and create a plan of action that will work for you and that you believe is possible if you desire to create consistent flow in your life. Release what is not working so you can make room to bring in what can work for you today. By the way, this does not take money! It takes discipline and persistence.
Many Blessings,
Joan Marie the gift
Help me to see through my fears
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 2
Joan Marie, your newsletters have truly inspired me and I wanted to reach out at this time in my life when I am seeing a big boulder sitting right in front of me. I push people away and I am resistant to great advice and suggestions when they are presented to me. Please help me see through my fears so I can understand why I push people and opportunities away. I am so grateful for your help.
Karen H., Chicago
Answer:
Dear Karen:
Thank you for your beautiful note. So many of us push away our many gifts and opportunities without even realizing it; however, your awareness is a blessing and a chance for you to flow more easily. Pushing people away is a form of protecting yourself from getting hurt. Please look at all the people that hurt you and see the patterns you have created. Have you put yourself in a box hoping to keep everyone else out? That is your protection mechanism so you will not get hurt. It is almost as if you are walking around wounded and saying I won’t let anyone hurt me again.
I also encourage you to look at your need to be right or maybe you unconsciously feel that “I know it all.” The greatest opportunity for all of us is to become a student and listen to others suggestions and/or critiques. If you honestly believe that a suggestion does not feel right to you than yes, by all means respect that. However, my feeling for you is once you open up your heart to receive a helping hand many more opportunities will come your way.
Life is about giving and receiving—allow yourself to be in alignment for both and watch the flow of blessing come to you.
Many Blessings,
Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan – Intuitive Counseling and Intuitive Coaching Specialist
How do I deal with rude people?
Posted by Intuition Girl
Question # 1
Hi Joan Marie:
Thank you for your newsletters…I really enjoy them and always find them helpful. I was wondering if you could offer any advice for dealing with a problem that I’ve confronted many times in my life. I’m generally a very gentle and kind person, but when I run across rude people I often feel the need to confront them, whether their rudeness is directed toward me, a friend of mine, or even a stranger. It’s not that I want to fight or argue with anyone, but I guess I feel that if I call them on their behavior that maybe I will be able to say something that will resonate with them and make them see how wrong they are. I know it’s not my job to try to change people’s behavior, though (and of course, calling out rude people on their behavior usually just makes them even more angry).
What’s the best, most positive way to deal with those sorts of situations? Confronting people has not usually proven to be constructive, so how can I learn to save my sanity and not take other people’s bad behavior to heart?
Blessings to you, Mary Scott
ANSWER
Dear Mary:
In life it is important for us to remember that we are all mirrors of each other. Therefore, if someone is being rude the best thing you can do is to take a step back and see where in you does this resonates. I am sure you are surprised by my answer and maybe even shocked but the truth is if someone is bothering you it is because you have unfinished business within yourself that needs to be dealt with. The Universe has a clever way of getting our attention.
In life it is healthy for all of us to become observer’s of others and not necessarily participants in someone else’s movie. One thing I can offer is for you to have loving, compassionate conversations with those you feel are rude and talk with them about it, that is, talk about their tone and what they are saying and how it affects you. After all that is who you are really talking about. Once you heal that aspect within yourself, rude individuals will not affect you.
Many Blessings,
Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan – Intuitive Counseling and Intuitive Coaching Specialist
The Fundamentals of using your Intuition
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dutchman, Sven Kramer was on his way to a gold medal and an Olympic record in the 10,000 meter race when his coach directed him to change lanes because in his mind he thought he was in the wrong lane. The coach erred—Sven was actually in the right place at the right time and he knew it; but he chose not to follow his gut feelings – his intuition. His win was forfeited!
Have you ever been in the right place at the right time and something throws you off course? I am sure that has happened in your life at one time or another, and then afterward you kick yourself because you went against your higher instincts – your intuition.
Why is it valuable to use your Intuition?
6 helpful reasons
1. Intuition is Cost-Effective!
You do not need to pay others for advice; it is built into you. You do not have to make unnecessary appointments for a counselor or professor to tell you what you need to do. In most cases, your intuition is on-key…when you listen to it!
2. Intuition is Fool-proof
Ever heard that phrase, “you shall know the truth, and the truth will set you free”? That is how intuition works. It is the rawest, purest, innate wisdom that helps you survive each and every day. When we don’t follow our intuition, we usually regret it and too often after the fact, we see the wisdom that was previously ignored. Your Intuition is that little voice in the back of your mind that says, “That road might be treacherous…” or “You need to check on Johnny…” or “I better make that call.” Of course there are numerous times we tap into our intuition, and we do not even realize we are doing so. That is why it is fool-proof: it is always there!
3. Intuition is your Dream Catcher
Your intuitive power opens you up to identify new possibilities. Dreams are the centerpiece to our imagination, our hopes, our goals, and even our fears. With intuition as our guide, we need not rely on outside forces to fulfill our desires. Our gut feeling is not a gamble – it is the real deal. Because it is a mainstay in our lives, we do not have to make high-stake choices based on a stranger’s analysis or theory. Instead, we discover that our inner consciousness has all the mind tools at our disposal to make the right choices to realize those opportunities that are right for each one of us.
4. Your Intuition is 24/7
It is part of your essence so it is with you all the time. Of what service are you aware that is available to you 60 minutes an hour, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, and 52 weeks per year…for free? Today, we might get 24-hour service but it is going to cost for every day we have it. Imagine your intuition as your fast-food for thought on a moment’s notice. No waiting in line to be serviced, no cashier to pay, no traffic hassle, no others cutting in line – it is entirely yours to do with as you please whenever you want at absolutely no financial cost to you. Wow!
5. Intuition is a True Treasure
Your intuitive power is a priceless talent that you possess so honor and respect it. Do not take it for granted. Listen to it. It is your ultimate mentor –your Yoda of the mind, heart and spirit. When Luke said, “I can’t believe it,” wise Yoda responded, “That’s why you fail.” Your intuition is priceless and can help you to succeed on all levels of living…when you truly listen to it and start believing in yourself. “Let the force be with you…”
6. Intuition makes you self-sufficient
Once you realize that you can make sound and wise decisions by going within, you become self sufficient and truly more self-confident. All your success is completely within reach and in your hands. That is the secret to your innermost source – your intuition makes you stronger, happier and more self-reliant when you need it the most and when it counts the most. Ask Sven Kramer if he would have listened to his intuition – I guarantee if he had a chance to repeat his race and listen to his gut feelings, he would have.
Whom do you Trust? Yourself
It is imperative to plant the seeds of trust in your Soul, your inner gut, your Intuition. It does not matter what you call it; however, what does matter is that you trust it implicitly. How does one do that? That is exactly what I teach and coach people. If a person does not know him or herself implicitly, they will not be able to distinguish between the right and wrong information that is constantly coming into their mind. The mind is a powerful mechanism that can steer us in the right direction when utilized properly.
We already possess the greatest knowledge of the Universal flow deep within our core but we haven’t learned how to tap into that knowledge and utilize it for our highest and best good. When we are willing to re-discover our authentic Self and continually go to the Source for our guidance and support, we will reap the reward. The knowledge of who you are simply lies deep within you. Don’t you think it is time to unbury your greatest treasure?
Learn more about Certified Master Intuitive Joan Marie Whelan – Intuitive Counseling and Intuition Coaching Specialist
