Communicating with a Soul Mate
Posted by Intuition Girl
Dear Joan,
I’ve been separated from my fiancé and soul mate for a year and a half now. Legal and immigration issues have prevented him from coming back to the US, and this has hit him pretty hard and is suffering what seems to me as depression, although I can’t be sure…it may be some post traumatic stress disorder, or just a complete feeling of wanting to give up fighting because he has not been successful in sorting things out and getting back here with me. We used to speak for hours every day, but these past three weeks, I get brief emails, mostly telling me that he’s not the man I fell in love with, that he doesn’t deserve me, and every day is a struggle marked with brick walls which for him keep getting higher and harder. I want to make plans to see him there, as well as to meet with an immigration lawyer to get the ball rolling on a fiancé’s visa so we can be married and live here happily at last! He has stopped phoning…I continue to email, leave voicemails, and texts, I ask for him to not shut me out and let me help him, but it’s been three excruciatingly painful weeks of no communication. I don’t know what I can do for him. How do I know what he needs from me? Should I continue to communicate and reach out to him as best I can and be patient that he will get some help (as I suggested) and will start to communicate with me again when he is ready? His emails assure me that he is still loves me…here’s his latest email to me:
Baby I am sorry… I find it hard enough to get through each day at the moment…. I am not the person you fell in love with right now… things continually go wrong…. and I keep hitting brick walls at speed…. and at the moment they are getting higher and harder…… your name is on my heart…. you have my heart and you always will… you know that… truly deep down…. and you are now and always will be my best friend… sorry for not letting you be there for me.. that was wrong… so wrong….. I love you now and for eternity darling… oxoxo
Joan Marie, can you give me some guidance as to what I need to do to help him get through this? I want to marry him…he’s my soul mate….but right now he is so lost. Is there still a happily ever after for us? Any assistance you can give me would be more appreciated than you’ll ever know….I need to know what I can do to help him keep fighting and not give up. I thank you for your time and consideration to this request for help.
Most sincerely,
Diane S.
Joan Marie’s Answer
Hi Diane:
I understand your desperation in wanting to help him. I do agree that you should continue to keep reaching out to him. Right now he is feeling hopeless and sad that it is like why bother? What you need to do is ask him to be honest with you: Does he want to be with you? Does he want to come to the states? What is it that he truly wants? You also need to ask him: “Has he made a decision to stay where he is?” He needs to make a decision to say “yes” you are a team and can work through this together or not. Life throws all of us many curve balls. However, if we give up than we have not only lost what we wanted but we gave our power over to the circumstance instead of to ourselves. I believe he needs to be honest with you and be in truth with what he wants.
I feel that the main question to ask him is: Does he want you to move on with out him or figure our how to solve this with him. This you need to know.
When we get into a serious depressed state or when many emotional situations arise in our lives, they happen so that we can learn to deal with them and heal from them as we learn our many valuable lessons. I believe what he is experiencing right now has a purpose—and he is the one who needs to be in truth with who he is and what is his life’s purpose. It is all about him being willing to open up first to himself and then to you and have a platform for open and honest communication. The focus is not on life ending but rather for life beginning at a far greater and deeper level.
We all have the ability to unlock the door and follow the light—if we choose it.
Many Blessings,
